Tainted
by Theforgottenhadid
Summary: Phoebe Grey was once the perfect daughter. But a chain of events happen and slowly rip her apart to a point that she couldn't take it anymore
1. CHAPTER 1 (06-03 11:49:02)

Chapter 1

I'm sat on my bed starting at my boring white four walls. One window lets me see the outside world. It's raining but I'm not looking outside i turn my head so I'm looking at the door. I can sense he is here. I know what happens now... I get to go home with him and see my family, I mean if you can call them that.

"Phoebe, your father is here," Nurse Rosemary speaks softly "it's time to go home phoebe"

I look her in the eyes and maintain that contact for several moments.

She gives a look of sympathy and turns around to leave, my dad walks in the room. He stares at me with an impassive look but his eyes give it away. He's sad. I don't blame him, I have done nothing but make my whole family sad.

He walks towards me and puts one arm around me, I don't move at all.

"Let's go home Bee," he says softly, I look him in the eye and give a small smile.

We stand and walk out of my boring room, we see Nurse Rosemary and Dr Flynn stood outside my room. My father shakes Flynns hand and we carry on walking down the corridor.

I stand still and turn around, I run to Rosemary and throw myself into her Arms. She returns my hug and strokes my hair

"Listen sweet girl, you are not going to return to this place promise me?" She quietly demands

"I promise Rosemary" I say barely a whisper.

We exit the building and we get into the car, as we drive off I see the buildings name on top of the gate 'West Seattle Psychiatric Hospital'

I close my eyes and think of the first time I thought I was saying goodbye to this place.

"Phoebe we are here," my father gently shakes me "come on, let's go inside"

I get out of the car and nod at Taylor as he takes my bag out of

My hands. We open the door into the huge foyer and i see my

Mother, my brother and both of my grandparents who stand with huge smiles on their faces. Why are they smiling? Why do they care?

I awkwardly stand infront of them for a few moments before my mother runs to me and hold me in her arms, she's crying softly telling me how much she has missed me and take comfort in her smell, the scent of strawberries and vanilla. It's home.

She backs away and I barely have time to prepare myself before my brother hugs me.

"I missed you Be-be" he sniffs

And then again I am smothered in kisses and hugs of my grandmother and grandfather. I back away and walk up The spiral stair and head into my bedroom and straight into the middle of the room and looked around closed my eyes and remember the things that happened in this room. This room where I tried to kill myself. Twice. My once white carpet has now been replaced by a slight grey one. Oh the irony, me Phoebe Grey once the perfect daughter now the tainted, damaged one. I turn around and look at my desk and see the classic picture of my friends and I.

We were the popular group but we weren't the mean bully type. We were the type that everyone respected. I slowly sit down on my window seat and think about my friends

Daisy is the nicest person you could ever meet but she's also the most fiercely loyal and will do anything to protect her friends.

Cleo is sarcastic and also loyal. She doesn't take any shit from anyone and that's why most people know not to push her.

Alex, Eli and Jamie are your classic football buddies, Alex being the captain. All three are the most hilarious people ever! It's no secret that Eli likes me but we were so close that I never told him that I didn't like him that way. I wish I had.

Hi guys! So this is my first story so please tell me how I did but please go easy!


	2. CHAPTER 2

10th April 2016

My alarm for school rings through my room and I flutter my eyes open and look across to my window and see rays of sun draping in. I smile knowing today was going to be a good day, like everyday.

I do my usual routine of showering, make up and dressing myself. I smile at myself in the mirror. I look pretty, satisfied with my outfit and hair and makeup, I make my way downstairs for breakfast.

I walk through the double doors and see my beautiful mother sat holding my fathers hand while she reads a manuscript and he reads the Wall Street Journal. After almost 20 years of marriage they still deeply love each other.

"Good morning Phoebe," my mother says "you look beautiful."

"Thanks mom" I say while I grab some toast and a yogurt

"Phoebe that is not a nutritious breakfast ask Gail to make you an omelette" my father scolds

"Good morning to you dad, and I'm

Going to be late if I ask Gail to

Make me an omelette so please drop it?" I beg

He stands up and kisses my head and pours me a cup of tea- a trait i gained from my mom.

I look at my watch and see that if

I don't set off now I'm going to be late and I don't do late - a trait that I inherited from my dad

"I gotta go, see you guys later" I say as I grab my bag and rush through the door.

I enter the garage and unlock my car,a 1965 mustang. It was a gift from my Grandfather Carrick, who I call Gramps.

I drive in silence for about 25 minutes and I pull into my schools parking lot. Near the door stood Alex and Daisy who looked like they were having an argument.

I walk quickly towards them

"... and you just let them say that about her" Daisy sounds really angry, Alex starts to say something but realised that I am behind them

"Hey Phebs!" Alex says to point out to Daisy that I am here

"What are you guys talking about?" I immediately question

"Ask him!" Daisy says walking off shooting Alex a dirty look.

I raise my eyebrow and he sighs

"You know how last night we had our football match? Well in the locker room Luke was saying that you looked like you wanted to be fucked and that it wouldn't be a problem considering how easy you are... but me, Eli and Jamie put him in his place! In fact Eli punched that's fuckers face in" He says while looking at me in complete pity.

I don't say anything to him I just slowly back away and walk to my English class which i share with Luke.

As soon as I enter i immediately feel self conscious. Sat by the door is Luke and his group of neanderthals

"Hey baby" Luke says while all the boys laugh and shout my name at the same time

I flip them the bird as I walk to my seat. Cleo isn't here yet and I make myself look like I'm busy by getting my stuff out. I can still hear the boys and I close my eyes and sigh

"Hey dickwad, if I hear your fucking voice again I am going to punch you so hard in the balls your fucking grandfather will feel it!" Cleo says in a creepily calm voice

Luke actually looks like he is going to be sick. Serves him right.

"Hey babe!" Cleo greets with her huge mega-watt smile. She tucks Her long brown hair tucked behind her ear as she smiles

"Hey peaches," i say with a laugh "thank you for that"

"No problem he is a dick anyway" she says with a loud laugh.

"Silence" Mr Campbell shouts

The lesson finally ends with the bell ringing.

The day flies by and the bell rings for lunch, I make my way to my group sat on our usual table, unfortunately I have to walk past Luke I give him a quick glance

"Hey baby, I know that you want my dick, so how about Friday?" He says with a smug look on his face

"Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth Luke, fuck you" i flip him the bird and walk over to my friends.

"That was very quick for you, have you been rehearsing?" Alex jokes

"Shut up fuckwad" I narrow my eyes at him as get my purse so I can get lunch.

I join the queue to get lunch and I get pizza and fries and Ice Tea

As I sit back down, I see Jamie reach over to grab my fries and I quickly grab his wrist bend it and lean forward so we are face to face. Making sure I have a tight grip on his wrist

"Jamie, we have been friends since we were 12 and during that time have I ever and I mean ever let anyone touch my food? Especially my fries? If you do that again I will break your wrist, ok?" I quietly threaten, the look on his face is priceless

"I'm sorry Bee I will never do it again" his eyes tearful.

The rest of the group including myself start laughing

"Jesus Psycho Phoebe is out" Alex laughs and I give him a look that could kill and he just smirks.

I get into my car and drive home.

I see a café, I park up and open the door.

It's a small café, with black tiles and white walls with simplistic paintings, there is soft classical music playing in the background.

I spot a young man, with brown hair and glasses and he's wearing suit, Both hands furiously typing on his MacBook. He looks in deep concentration with a frown line between his eyebrows.

"Excuse me, would you like to place your order?" A slightly middle aged woman asks

"Hi, can I have a cup of tea to go?" I say with a smile

"Of course dear, that will be $2.10" I give her the correct change and decide to take a seat while I wait, I turn around only to hit a brick wall, no wait that's a man!

"Oh my god I'm so sorry-" I noticed that he has a coffee stain on his shirt "I'm sorry, I will pay for your dry cleaning, I was in a world of my own" i babble.

I stop when I notice he is just staring at me. We stare into each others eyes for a good minute before a soft voice draws me away

"Dear, your tea is ready" she hands me the take away cup and I thank her.

"Again i am really sorry, do you want me to pay for dry cleaning?" I ask softly

He doesn't answer just stares, it kind of creeps me out so I walk out of the shop only to have someone grab my elbow

"I'm sorry that I was rude, my name is Jason Dubois" he introduces himself and i only just notice his deep green eyes with specks of blue. His name sounds familiar but I don't know where from.

"I'm Phoebe" I reply

"So Phoebe don't worry about my shirt I have plenty more at home" Jason says with a smirk

"Ok then, it was nice to meet you. I have to go I have somewhere to be" I get into my car and drive away.

I'm sat in my room when my mother comes into my room

"Hi Phoebe, just to let you know that your father is hosting a small dinner for a potent partner in a new business... so dress nice" she commands

"Of course mom, don't worry" An hour and half hour later, I have curled my long brown hair and my makeup is natural with a dark red lip.

As I walk down the stairs into the large dining room. I see my mom, my dad and Ros. I sit beside Ros and I turn around when I hear another set of voices.

"Mr Grey thank you so much for having Mr Campbell and i over this evening" Wait, I recognise that voice... Jason?

"It's no problem at all. Jason, this is my beautiful daughter Phoebe" My father introduces me, but I don't need it. I stare into the eyes I have been thinking about since I met him.

"Nice to meet you Mr Dubois" i say politely and shake his hand, i inhale quietly when i felt a spark as soon as our hands made contact.

"Likewise Ms Grey" he smiles

He must of felt it too because he held my hand a bit too long before letting go.

 _If only I knew what I know now._


	3. CHAPTER 3 (06-05 14:54:20)

The rest of the evening is pure business, every once in a while Jason looks over at me then turns back to my father.

I stand up to help Gail collect the plates and I can feel his eyes on me, I go to the kitchen and stand infront of the sink looking out onto the meadow behind our house. I can feel Jason before i see him

"Phoebe? Are you ok?" He asks softly. I turn around and he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ears and rests his hand of my cheek- I lean into it taking its warmth

"What are you doing to me? Why are you always on my mind?" He questions but both of us don't have the answers

"We can't be doing this, your working with dad and your older than me, it won't work out" I admit

"Ok. 1. I'm 24 and your 18 and your going to graduate in a month or so. 2. My business with your father has no affect with how much I'm attracted to you? Please Phoebe one date that's all I ask for! Coffee or dinner- anything you want" He desperately proposes

"How about dinner? On Friday? I will meet you at the coffee shop at 8 and I will say I'm sleeping over at my friends and they will cover for me..." I say with a hopeful look of my face

"That sounds like a deal" he leans down to kiss my cheek but for some reason i turn my head so my lips meet his, he goes to deepen the kiss but I push him away.

I bite my bottom lip and walk into the lounge where my family moved to.

The night comes to an end and we bid farewell to the two gentlemen

"Mrs Grey thank you for dinner, it was Splendid! See you tomorrow Mr Grey. I hope to see you very soon Phoebe" He bids his goodbyes and leaves in his Audi.

15th April 2016

Everything is sorted for tonight, Cleo knows what to do as does Daisy.

My parents suspect nothing. The school day consists of crude comments coming from luke but I'm too busy thinking about tonight that it's the least of my worries.

We head over to Cleo's, and they both decide to gang up on me and force me into a make over which I'm secretly grateful for because I feel so nervous that I might be sick so this is giving me a chance to relax.

They do my hair and makeup, pick an outfit for me.

It looks amazing, it's a simple red dress and black Louboutins which are simply beautiful.

"Oh Phoebe you look hot!" Cleo screams

"You do, why aren't you telling us where your going?" Daisy questions

"I've told you, it's just dinner with a friend." I say with a shrug

They both give me a look of disappointment

"Well thank you very much girls, but now I have to go" I announce. I grab my bag and the copy of Cleo's back door key and kiss both of their cheeks and walk out the door

After driving for about 15 minutes i park outside the coffee shop and see an Audi pull up behind me a few moments later. I get out of my car and as does Jason. He walks to me grabs my face and kisses me with so much force and passion I stumble backwards but with one arm he wraps it around my waist, when he finally pulls away he puts his forehead against mine. Fuck.

"Hi" he whispers

"Hey yourself" I say out of breath

"Come on, let's go. Our reservation is for 8:30" he tugs me towards his car and takes me to the passenger side, he opens the door and I get in. I admire his face and the way he walks with such confidence and dominance it's intimidating.

"Where are we going?" I ask

"I made a reservation at Canlis" he says without taking his eyes of the road

"There's really amazing food there" my mouth salivating at the thought of a steak

He grabs my hand and kisses it, i sigh content with how the night is going

We arrive at the restaurant and we are seated with an amazing view. He sits across from me and holds my hand. After several minutes of looking over the menu, I sigh and look at him

"What?" He laughs

"There is too much choices, on the ride over I wanted a steak but now I think i want salmon or chicken... i just don't know what to choose" i admit

He chuckles and smiles

"Ok... how about you get steak and I get salmon and we split-"

"Nope. I don't share food." I joke

"Well then, get the chicken then" he says

The waiter comes over and asks if we are ready to order

"Hi, can we have tomato garlic bread for a starter and I will have the chicken with peppercorn sauce and vegetables" he looks at me

"Can I have the steak with the same sauce and vegetables?" I say closing the menu

"So tell me about yourself Jason" I ask

"Fine. I am 24, i started my own company when i saw 20 but it really took off when I was 22. I was born to a pair of amazing parents but they died in a car crash when i was 7, so I lived with my grandmother who was so caring. I always visit her on a Saturday sometimes a Sunday too. I call her everyday... I miss her" he gushes

"Wow, I'm sorry about your parents. Do you miss your parents?"

"I can't believe I'm going to tell you this but when I was younger my mom used to wear this perfume and it was sweet but not that sweet that you would get a headache. It's indescribable, anyway I found the bottle of the perfume when I was 13 at our old house, I took it and I grabbed my pillow and sprayed it. And I felt like she was there holding me. She was always in my dreams from that point on" he admits looking everywhere but at me.

"You must think I'm a freak-"

"No I don't! I think that's a really sweet thing to do, you missed your mom and you found a solution. If anything I think you just made your self more attractive" I admit

"Thank you Phoebe" he kisses my hand. Our food arrives and I'm practically salivating at the sight of it!

I cut a small piece of my streak and moan at the taste

"Wow this is amazing"

"Really I can't tell" he jokes

"Sarcasm Is the Lowest form of wit" i shoot back

"Just eat your food" he chuckles

After I finished my meal, I sit and study Jason for a few minutes. I've noticed that when his glasses fall slightly he scrunches up his nose and pushes it up with his middle finger. Like Clark Kent. It's adorable, I know that I'm young but I'm really seeing myself fallen for him.

He pays the check after a very heated discussion that we should split it but then he shoots me a look almost like the look my dad gives when its time to drop it. Immediately I drop it.

He drives me back to the coffee shop and we sit in his car in silence when suddenly he pulls me over into his lap where we have a heated make out session. His hands are everywhere, leaving no part of my body devoid of his touch.

"Phoebe, when can i see you again?" He practically pants

"Hmm, I don't know... what makes you think this date went well?" I flirt

"What?" He questions

I put my hand on the handle to open his car door, I lean over hovering my lips over his and I suddenly open my door and quickly leave the car,

"Hey what's that about?" He shouts

I lean forward and whisper in his ear

"Call it delayed gratification," I smirk and kiss his cheek "laters baby."

I can feel his eyes on me as I walk to my car, before I get in I blow him a kiss and he does the cliche thing of catching it and placing it on his lips.

I throw my head back and laugh, I get in the car and drive to Daisy's.

This **was** one of my happiest memories.


	4. CHAPTER 4

Chapter 4

19th April 2016

Since our date I haven't got one text or call for Jason, my mind keeps taking me to the worst places. What if he realised that I wasn't worth the secrecy or trouble? What if I am not good enough?

I shake those thoughts out of my head and roll over to my side of my bed and stare out of my window. I grab my phone and check to see if I had any messages and what a surprise I don't, I get up and start my usual routine. I look at my face, and realise that I'm not pretty I'm nothing special.

 ** _Your ugly, Jason probably made a great decision getting away from you._**

There's that voice again. I haven't heard it since I was 15 and had a blackout after, still telling me I wasn't good enough or wasn't worthy of being loved.

I blink my tears away and carry on with my light makeup, after I'm finished I go down stairs for something to eat.

I grab an apple and quickly greet my mom and dad.

"Hey guys I'm Going to meet Cleo and Daisy for breakfast, see you later" I kiss my dads cheek and my moms temple and run out of the door.

I lied. I'm not going to breakfast but I just can't eat.

Before first period i go to the Toilets. I close the door behind me and do my business and I hear the door open

"Oh my god did you see what she looks like today?" A girl laughs loudly

"Yes! Oh god she looks like she has been dragged through a bush" another girl agrees

"I always thought Phoebe was the perfect child, but when my older sister dated Theodore, he told her that she had to take pills to fix this voice in her head, as soon as I heard that I lost all respect for her" she laughs

"No! Is that true? Is she crazy or something? Who hear voices in their head?" Girl number 2 starts shouting

"Becca said it got so bad that Phoebe trashed her room, like destroyed it, she ripped her wallpaper off with her fingers and because of that there was blood all over the place. She's crazy, but she hides it well" Girl Number 1 shares a time in my life that I hardly remember. I blacked out when I did that. It has an element of truth but I don't think there was blood, i look at my finger tips as if they would tell me but no such luck.

"Listen you can't tell anyone about this ok Leah? If this rumour goes around and she finds out who said it, she will go ape shit" girl number 1 says

"Yeah whatever, I don't not care about Phoebe Grey at all, she could die and I wouldn't shed a tear" I feel physically sick after hearing that.

They walk out and I'm just sat on the toilet lid thinking about what to do now. I slowly stand up and avoid looking in the mirror, I walk out and head to Economics.

As soon as I walk through the door I am greeted by 2 girls

"Hey Phoebe!" I turn around and realise that Leah and Sophie were the ones who were talking about me

"Hey girls" i say with a smile

What the fuck?

I carry on walking over to my friends

"Hey what's wrong?" Eli asks immediately

"Nothing!" I saw with a bright smile. A fake bright smile

Cleo turns around

"Hey did you hear about Jacksons party next Friday?" She asks

"Yeah I'm going what about you Phoebe?" Eli asks

"Yeah I'm probably going to go if you're all going" i shrug my shoulders

"Great!" She turns back around and we carry on with our work

When the bell rings for lunch I look at my phone and notice I have a text. Not just any random text it's off JASON!

It says

 _'I'm so sorry that I haven't been able to call or text you, i am in the middle of a huge merger. I wanted to know if at 5:00 you wanted to meet for coffee? X J'_

I smile and type back

 _'Of course see you there x P'_

I feel another buzz

 _'I can't wait to kiss those lips again... x J'_

I shake my head smiling and put my phone in my pocket.

I pray that these next couple of lessons don't drag on

My lessons are pretty boring, Maths which we got given out tests back and I got 98% while in My art examination I got an A, I'm mainly proud of my art. I drew my mom and my dads wedding picture, where my dad has his hands on either side of my moms face and they are kissing.

Honestly, I wish I have a relationship like them when I'm older.

I am sat in the coffee shop at 5:00, I have my hands wrapped around my cup of tea, I blow on it softly and close my eyes and sip my tea. I open my eyes and smile when I look up and see that Jason is stood in front of my table

He sits next to me in the booth and just kisses me

"You really should say hello before you kiss me. I'm starting to think you only want me for my lips" I joke

"Hello baby," he says with a smirk "how's school?"

"School is great, I got An A on this artwork and I know I'm biased but it's so good" I announce

"Baby that's great," he says playing with my hair

"How's work? How is this merger going?" I ask

He goes on for a few minutes about the merger and work and his eyes light up as if he's glad i asked, he is still twirling my hair in his fingers. I look at his eyes and then his lips and back to his eyes.

"I'm sorry I'm boring you." He blushes

"No your not, it's nice to see you talk about something your so passionate about" I move my face closer and peck his lips then I grab his face and kiss everywhere: his cheeks, nose, chin and eyelids. I pull back and he just looks at me amazed.

"What are you doing tomorrow night?"

"Anything with you" I whisper

"Good come to my apartment and we will have a lazy night, movies-"

"PIZZA!" I shout

He flinches and starts laughing

"Yes baby pizza" he kisses my neck.

It's in this moment that I know that I have and never will be this happy again.

I walk through my house with a huge smile on my face, my mom stops me in the kitchen as i grab a glass of water.

"why are you smiling so much Bebe?" My mom questions. My smile drops

"Mom can I ask you something?"

"Of course Bebe is something wrong?"

"No, well yes, kinda, do you remember when I had that blackout?" I avoid her eyes

"Yes, why are those voices back?" She looks worried

"No but I just had a thought, you know when I trashed my room and I smashed my TV and tore my wallpaper of the wall, well did I hurt myself? Was there blood on the walls? I'm so confused mom I hardly remember anything" I'm sobbing

"Oh honey, look at me," she strokes my hair out of my face "when the incident happened, we didn't know what happened to you. You came home and your whole personality was different, you didn't say hello you just walked right passed us. Teddy said your name so many times and you turned around looked at him and walked back upstairs. You were in your room for hours before we heard you screaming and so much crashing and things smashing, your father tried to stop you when you were tearing your wallpaper down, your hands were bleeding and so where your knees. You had punched the window then your TV," She has tears going down her face

"When your father tried to stop you, he didn't touch you, he tried speaking to you but when he saw you punch the window. He grabbed your arms and you kept kicking him, somehow you got one arm free and started to hit his chest and body but he kept hold of you. Eventually Taylor and Sawyer came while your father and Taylor had you pinned down Sawyer injected you with a tranquilliser. We put you in one of the spare bedrooms and you were fine. When you woke up you had no idea what happened, you were so confused and you don't understand why your hands had blood on them and we told you that you had a blackout and trashed your room. We thought you'd remember eventually, we just tried not to mention it. Then we took you to Flynn you had therapy and got medication; those voices stopped, and a couple of months later you were back to your normal self" she's still crying and hugging me

"Are those voices back? Please tell me!"She begs

"No mom! I just wanted to know! The incident was years ago! I'm fine now I promise!" I kiss her cheek

"I'm going tot go to bed now, I love you Mom"

I get in my bed and think about the blackout and try to see if I can remember any of it. But I can't remember? Why can't I remember?

My phone buzzes

' _Good night baby, dream of me X J'_

My reply is almost immediate

' _Oh I will trust me X P'_

I close my eyes and fall asleep within minutes


	5. CHAPTER 5

Chapter 5

I drive to Jason's apartment, I park outside his building and walk in. I walk up to the concierge desk

"Hi? I'm hear to see Jason Dubois?" He nods and calls up to his apartment.

"Your here to see Jason?" This stunning woman stands in front of me. She's dressed to the nines with a black dress, Christian Louboutins, a necklace full of pearls. Her makeup is perfect, her red lipstick perfect, she's wearing the right amount of perfume.

Enough so you can smell it but not so strong that you can taste it- perfect. She was perfect

"Erm... yeah I am. Do you know him?" I try to act cool but in front of her I feel insecure and ugly. **That is because you are ugly.**

"Yeah we have been friends for a really long time, we dated for a while... In fact we nearly got engaged," I can't help but feel like she is bragging and taking her claim on him "how do you know him?"

"We are dating" I answer short, hoping she will get the hint and leave me alone.

She opens her mouth to say something but stops when arms wrap around my waist and kiss my cheek

"Hey babe you coming up?" He looks up and sees that woman stood infront of me "Angelique, your still here?"

So Miss Perfect has a name: Angelique.

"Yes, I was on the phone with Sabine and you know how much that woman talks" they both share a chuckle. We all stand in silence for a moment before Jason speaks

"Well we should go up, see you around" he starts to turn me around

"It was really nice meeting you..." she pauses hinting she doesn't know my name

"My name is Phoebe, it was nice to meet you too" I give her and awkward wave goodbye and wait for the elevator with Jason.

He turns his back to me and presses the penthouse and enters his code. He backs me into the elevator wall and with his hips pinned against mine, my breath hitches. He strokes my cheek and kisses my nose.

"You are so beautiful" those four words make my heart burst. I grab the back of his neck and kiss him with all the passion I have. Subconsciously I hear the elevator doors open and Jason picks up my legs and I wrap them around his waist. He carries me into the living room and throws me on the coach. As I bounce on the Sofa he grabs my hands and pins them by Sides. I start grinding my hips against his to gain some sort of friction, he releases my hands and mine fly straight to his pants. He grabs my hands and shakes his head

"No Phoebe you don't have to do this" He looks me in the eyes "I'm not with you just for sex" he looks at me with love in his eyes.

"I want to..." I kiss his lips

He gets off me and holds out his hand, I sit up and take his hand. He leads me into the master bedroom with the amazing view.

"Wow it's so beautiful" I awe at Seattles under appreciated beauty

"Yes you are" he leads me to the foot of the bed and starts by kissing my neck and slowly pulls off my top and kisses my stomach and my shoulders.

"Phoebe if you don't want to don't this let's stop now" he says

"Shhh I want this- I want you" I smile as I kiss his neck, he moans as unbutton his shirt, I rub my hands all over his chest and kiss everywhere.

He starts unbuttoning my jeans,bra and underwear and slowly peels them off.

He lays me down on the bed and sits between my legs.

His body is perfection, I wrap my hands in his hair.

He smiles. "Relax Phoebe and feel the sensation, I promise you're going to like it, It will be good." He slowly spreads soft wet kisses on my legs until he reaches my sex. He inhales deeply and goes with his tongue slowly along my slit.

I close my eyes, and tighten my grip on his hair

"Open your eyes Phoebe, I want to look at you."

I open my eyes and he is hovering over me.

"How much do you want me?" Jason let out a single lick, "Say it."

"A lot," I ran my fingers through his hair, "I want you a lot."

Satisfied, Jason let out a growl before licking my insides wildly. He stuck his finger inside of me to help spread the pleasure. I bucked a few times in his mouth, holding his head close to my sex.

"Don't stop," I cried, "Don't ever stop."

And he didn't. Jason's tongue drove me up the wall as I found my release. I held his head down as I came, and he kept licking until I was dry. He climbed back up to me and smirked. I grabbed his face and brought his lips onto mine. My slickness was all over his mouth but I didn't care.

"You taste so sweet," he slipped a finger inside me.

His hands on both sides of my head. His mouth finds mine and we kiss. The feeling of the kiss is incredible… His mouth moves to my ear and he whispers "Are you sure you want this Phoebe?" as he kisses behind my ear

"Stop asking me"

He kneels back between my legs and removes his boxer short. Fuck! He is huge. That's never goings to fit in me! He sees my reaction and gives me a sexy smile "Relax, it will fit."

"Are you on birth control Phoebe?" he asks while taking his dick in his hands and slowly pumps up and down. Oh, that's so hot!

"Yes, I am." I don't even recognize my own voice.

"Good" he opens my legs and brings his nose to my slit. "I'm going to taste you again Phoebe" his tongue concentrates on my clit and suddenly I feel his finger tracing my folds and push it slowly inside me.

"You are so wet baby, are you this wet for me Phoebe?" he asks.

I somehow can't remember how to speak so I just nod.

He keeps sliding his finger in and out me and his thumb is pushing at my clit.

Shit! That was really good.

When I open my eyes he is watching me intently. "You are so beautiful when you come" he says while kissing my lips.

His hands are on both sides of my head. I feel the tip of his dick on my folds.

"It's going to hurt a little bit, but I will go slow okay?"

"Okay" I whisper. "Please, I need you."

"You're going to be the death of me Phoebe Grey,"

I feel him entering me slowly and when he hits the barrier of my virginity he withdraws slightly and enters me completely in one swift thrust . It feels as the room is spinning…

"Open your eyes Phoebe and look at me, are you okay baby. Fuck Phoebe you're so tight." he says.

"Please, let me adjust Jason, and hold me." I barely whisper

He starts stroking my face and laying soft kisses on my shoulders and jawline

"I am going to move now baby, if it's too much…" . The feeling of Jason's body pressed against mine and the look in his eyes make my insecurities from all week vanish.

 _I think I'm in love with him_

"Move Jason, please move".

He slowly moves in and out me, the feeling is indescribable and I want more.

"Faster Jason, please I want more."

The only sound in the room is of our breathing, our moans and the slapping of our skin against each other.

His hair has fallen on his forehead and I reach to move it. It's wet from the sweat. I wrap my arms around his neck and press my heels into his ass as if that would get him any deeper.

While he is thrusting in me he has his face buried in the crook of my neck. His breath in my ear is sending shivers to my spine. "You feel so good Phoebe" his breathing is ragged but his movements are in complete control.

"Fuck Phoebe, I can't hold on much longer baby" I feel him grow bigger inside me, the veins on his neck are tense.

"Come for me Phoebe, fuck baby." He says while throwing his head back.

My legs start to tremble and my walls start to tighten around him. Oh, this is so good. I don't want this to end…

He thrusts three more times in me and when I hear him call out my name I come around him.

"Jason"I whisper.

When our breathing is back to normal he leans his forehead against mine, smiles at me

"Damn baby… you feel so fucking good." And kisses me all over my face.

"Are you okay Phoebe? Did I hurt you?"

He is resting with his head on his arm and is facing me. I mirror him and trace his sculpted lips with my finger.

"Jason, that was…that was good."

"Good?!" he says "Phoebe, that was on a whole other world."

He gently brushes my hair out of my face.

"Are you tired?" He asks

I don't even have the energy to speak so I just nod. I feel him pull out and cuddles me, my head over his heart, I can hear it slowing down.

"I love you Jason" I whisper and suddenly his heart starts beating faster

"I love you too Phoebe" I slowly close my eyes and sleep takes me.

I am awoken by a phone ringing i look up and Jason is peacefully asleep, it's my phone that's ringing. I find it and see that it's Cleo

"Hey Be?" She whispers

"Hey what's up? Your dad rang me asking why aren't you home yet and I told him we were working on our presentation and project and you fell asleep. He doesn't want you driving home this later and he will see you after school tomorrow" she fills me in

I feel Jason's arms around my waist

"Thank you so much Cleo! I owe you one, I will see you tomorrow" I end the call and we both go back to bed, I look down and see the little Jason is ready for round two!

 **AN: Please let a review to let me know how I'm doing :)**


	6. CHAPTER 6

Chapter 6

21st April 2016

I wake up with rays of sun shining in my face. I roll over and my face is an inch away from Jason's, he looks so youthful and beautiful when he sleeps. With one finger I trace his lips and move his hair out of the ways of his eyes. I can't help myself but i lean forward and kiss his lips before I can pull away i notice he is kissing me back.

"Good morning beautiful" oh my god his voice in the morning is sexy!

"Good morning to you handsome" i peck his lips again.

"Come on lets get ready then we can go to breakfast before you have to go to school" he announces

As he gets out of the bed I grab his hand and pull him back to me

"I love you Jason..." I whisper

He doesn't respond for a few moments and he kisses me with all the love that he can give.

"I love you too," he gives my lips one last peck before he goes in the bathroom "are you joining me?" He asks with his sexy smirk

"Yes but no funny business" I point at him, he responds with a pout.

After our shower we drive in separate cars to the cafe where we first met.

We sit in our usual spot and eat our croissant and muffins

As I sip my tea I think about that woman - Angelique.

"So what's the story with Angelique?" I ask nonchalantly

He sighs "I was wondering how long it was going to be before you mentioned her," he closes my eyes

"We met at college, we were in a group for this economic project, we started to spend a lot of time together in the library and one night we were both hungry and I suggested we go eat. I knew she like me and I played on that.

I took her to dinner and a few dates. We mainly had sex and it lasted two years."

"Wait so in those two years, you never said I love you or anything?" I question

"She did, but whenever she did I would reply with you too or i would just kiss her. She must have known that deep down that i had feelings for her but it's wasn't like the feelings like the love I have for you- it was sexual. I also had never been in a relationship before her, so it was kinda like I thought I loved her but looking back I didn't" he admits

"So you were engaged?"

"I didn't propose, she did and I said 'sure'. Phoebe I didn't love her, I didn't propose to her in fact I said yes because I thought I would never feel this way with a woman but I was wrong! I feel it with you" he grabs my hands and brings them to his lips and kisses them.

"How did it end then?"

"She broke it off, she went to Italy to see her grandmother met this Italian and then she got married to him a couple of years ago?"

"So wait, would you still be with her if she didn't end it first? Say you were still with her when you met me, what would you do?" I can feel myself getting so small

"Phoebe I don't cheat, I would end it with her before even pursing you, it wouldn't be fair to you or her" he rubs my hands

I look at my watch and see that it's time for me to leave

"I need to leave for school, I will call you later" I don't even wait for his goodbye. I just leave.

The rest of my day is shit! All I can think about is the fact that Jason had a fiancé - one that he is still in contact with.

Wait... why was she there? What did they do?

I shake those negative thoughts out of my head.

I can hear my phone vibrating for the 15th time I grab it and turn it off

"Woah Phoebe, why so vexed?" Jamie punches my arm

"I'm just stressed..." I sigh

Darcy decided to pipe up "Anyway what's going on with that friend you had dinner with?"

"What guy?" Eli all but shouts

"Erm... his name is Jason, we met a few weeks ago in a coffee shop and instantly hit it off, we went on a date" I decide to leave it at that because I know Eli has feelings for me

"Annddd what happened last night? Did you do it or what? How long was his shlong? Darcy is so blunt and unaware of how Eli must be feeling.

"Oh shut up Darcy! Not everyone wants to know private details of other people's lives! How can you be so rude and disrespectful?" Eli screams at her and walks away, Darcy sits with her mouth open and looks around and makes eye contact with me. I shake my head and grab my stuff and try to find Eli.

I find him sat on the bleachers looking across the huge football field.

"Hey" I say before I slowly sit next to me, he doesn't look at me just hums

"You know how I feel about you and you don't even acknowledge it? You just act like you don't know or you don't care and it hurts! Looking at you hurts- seeing you smile, laugh or smiling because of this new guy you've known for 5 minutes fucking kills me Phoebe!" He screams at me

I reach out for him but he hits my hands away

"Eli, please"

"No I knew that you didn't have the same feelings... I thought that eventually I would stop having these feelings for you but I haven't" he admits

"I'm sorry Eli I never knew"

"Yes you did don't lie! You fucking bitch you led me on you kissed me knowing how hopelessly I am in love with you! God I'm pathetic so fucking pathetic! I'm done with this- with you. I can't take anymore" that's all he says before he gets up and walks away.

Tears start falling down my face as I see his figure walk away from me. I lost him.

I wrapped my arms around myself and stay there crying for god knows how long.

I go home and lie on my bed and realise Eli was right.

I knew how Eli felt I just ignored it. At one point I had those feelings for him... I wanted more but something always stopped me from making the next step. Was is that I knew we weren't meant to be or that these feelings I had were out of pity?

I kissed him in tenth grade and that was two years ago, god what is Eli thinking? We were both drunk!

 _Flashback_

 _I love dancing._

 _It's like my safe haven I've always felt like I can dance my stresses and worries away. God I feel amazing._

 _I feel arms wrap around my waist, I turn around and see that it's Eli_

 _"ELI!" I scream_

 _"Woah I'm right here no need to shout" he laughs_

 _"Whoops sorry" I giggle_

 _"Phoebe you look amazing" he looks at me with a look in his eyes I've never seen before and I have no idea why but I decide to lean in kiss him. Not just a peck like hair grabbing, stumbling back and tongues._

 _"Wow Phoebe" he pecks my lips before we go again_

 _Flashback_

That's was I thought I loved him when I thought we could be more. But after that's kiss I realised that Eli was like my brother- he was my best friend.

I walk into my house and it's quiet I carry on walking down the foyer

"Hello? Where's my fam at?" I shout as loud as I can, since I guess that my parents weren't home I decided to go to my fathers office and take one of his many bottles of whiskey I quickly place it in my school bag. As I walk out I feel someone place their hands over my eyes and out of instinct I grab their arm and bend it backwards

"Ah shit Phoebe it's me! What the fuck?!" Teddy screams

"Ted? Oh my god HI! I've missed you" I wrap my arms around him

"I've missed you too" he kisses my temple and hugs me tight.

"Where's mom and dad?"

"They went back to GEH to sort out some shit they won't be back until seven..." he looks at my bag

"Ok cool... I'm going to have a shower and we can catch up properly then ok?" I rush up to my room, I throw my bag on my bed rest my back on the door.

I lock it and walk to my bed and open my bag and grab the whiskey and head into the bathroom.

I slowly open the top of it and close my eyes and drink. I drink to forget. Forget about the voices. To feel nothing but euphoria.

 ** _Next time on Tainted:_**

 _"I need you right now please... i need your help please help me I can't move my legs, I can't feel my arms or legs please" I can feel tears but I don't have the strength to lift my arms and wipe them away._

 _"Where are you? Phoebe tell me where you are!"_

 _"I need you here"_

 _"Phoebe I'm coming for you_ _please stay on the line"_

 _"I don't think I can"_

 **So guys remember to write some reviews your support means the world to me! Just remember to be nice please x**


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